The past twenty four hours has been kinda rough on me. I have been having what seems to be an allergic reaction to something. My normal reactions to allergins, I am able to deal with, and they usually don’t impact my life like they have been. But, I have been dealing with red, painful, itchy, dry, sticky eyes. I normally don’t have this reaction to allergins. I do have issues with my eyes and light. All light not just the sun.
Anyways, back from that tangent. I was so miserable this morning, I had to go to urgent care. Urgent care was fine. They decided to treat me for allergies and pink eye. I don’t think I have pink eye, but if the eye drops help, I will take them for the week that was prescribed today.
A few months ago, my therapist said he thought that he thought I didn’t need to be coming anymore. That I just needed case management. I was hesitent about it, but I agreed.
All of that came crashing down on me on Monday, when I had an epic meltdown. I broke down and made an appointment for yesterday at noon. My therapist said that he didn’t know how long the session was going to be due to the fact that he had screwed something up, and possibly could get fired cause of it.
I ended up feeling like he wasn’t fully listening and that he was preoccupied about what had happened that didn’t involve me.
I really felt and I told him that he was saying that my feelings weren’t valid. I really wish that I lived in a big city, or better yet, a country that has healthcare that actually would do something and help me have access to the resources that I need. I have medical needs that are in threat due to the government wanting to do away with the healthcare that is in place. I am not saying that it is perfect, but it is better than millions of people loosing the healthcare that they so desperatly need.
So, I don’t care where you are from, or how much you make, we all deserve our healthcare needs to be met.
Anxiety makes it hard for me to open up to people. It is hard for me to keep writing about anything really. If you don’t struggle everyday with social anxiety, you are probably wondering why. And that is okay. And you probably are thinking why doesn’t she just get over it? That is okay too.
There is a simple answe for that. I can’t “just get over it.”
Why? Because I can’t change part of my personality. Imagine trying to change your personality or something else that would be impossible to change.
You learn to live with it, you learn coping skills. That is what I have to do every single day. I wake up, and sometimes have a hard time stepping out my front door just because I woke up, and I was overwhelmed already.
Since I have been learning how to cope in therapy, I have had more good days than bad ones.
Do I wish I was “normal”? Some days I do. But then I wouldn’t be able to show my boys how I can get better as a mom and as a person. I get to show them how even as an adult, you can learn, change, and always keep evolving into a better version of myself.
I have recently read a story where the Mother doesn’t make her son share his toys. I know what you are thinking. What?! Why would she not encourage to share?! She wants her son to be able to stand up for himself. Here is the link to the story. Read it!
I will do my best to summerize the story. Basically, she doesn’t tell her son he has to share with kids he doesn’t know at the park. On the occasion she posted about, her son brought toys to share with a friend at the park. When they arived, some other kids came over and wanted to play with the toys. Her son, got overwhelmed with this. But she told him he could tell them no.
In my opinion, I feel that by teaching her son to stand up for himself, she is teaching him more than how to stand up for himself. She is also teaching him boundaries, and to respect other. By respect I mean, if someone tells you no, then that is the end of it and he is to go on his way, and not tattle on them.
Well, every woman in the develpoed world will have come to a point in her life where she has had to make the decision about tampons. Why have we not been taught to ask questions about what they are made of? We are taught to ask and learn what is in our food, but why not our feminine products like pads and tampons?
I came across a video on facebook that brought this situation to my attention.
And it needs to be talked about. Because we matter. As sisters, mothers, and as human beings we matter.
No this is not a sponsored blog. I feel very strongly about talking about this. I would have never thought to research it on my own. Until tonight that is.
In part this blog is to get your attention, in part to get you talking about this. And also in part a review based solely on the video that I watched.
The company I have been talking about is called Lola. The website is Lola Tampons
From what I have seen, we need to get behind theses ladies, and support them. They will help change the now and the future.
Today I get to write from the dog park. I almost didn’t go out today. Why? Because I deal with depression and anxiety and they suck. They suck up all my extra energy.
I’m constantly anxious and depressed. I am wanting to get better some days it is hard leaving the house.
I am so happy that I brought Motley today. It isn’t often I can bring him without anyone else. I love being able to come with the family, but sometimes it is nice to be able to do my own thing.
I love watching Motley trying to play. It doesn’t seem like he knows how to play with other dogs. But he tries. I’m so happy we rescued him.
That is all for my ramblings for now. Thank you for reading! I hope you come back to read more!
So, I was just sitting here at work looking at Facebook. And I came across this video that tells of a man, whom has down syndrome. But he hasn’t let that get in his way of owning his own photography studio after graduating from college.
While I was watching it, I remembered something else I saw. I don’t remember where, but it was telling how we are much more than the labels we are given at birth. I want to expand on that.
I am much more than the labels of mom, sister, daughter, girlfriend, aunt. There are many people with those labels in the world. How can I stand out from them? How can you stand out from the people whom share whatever labels you share them with?
I love to cook, and take care of others. I do things very differently than my sisters and brothers. And I am glad that I don’t do things like them. I am thankful that I think differently then everyone else.
What do you have to offer that no one else does? You are the only one that thinks like you. You are the only one that feels like you do. Your opinions, and how you view the world are uniquely you.
I love Melaleuca. I think everyone should be using it. But not everyone that has tried it likes it like I do. Yes, people have had bad experiences with it. I think that is bound to happen with anything you try. Not everyone is going to have a great experience. And that is okay. What is important is that you try, and if you end up having a negative experience, and are truly unsatisfied, at least you know that you tried and gave it your best effort.
If you want to know more I can send you a link for a presentation to learn about this great company!!
If you have any questions ask away!!! I would love to hear from you about your interest, or your experience with Melaleuca, or any other company!! Even if the experience with Melaleuca was not so good, I invite you to come back and give it another try! Who knows, you might just have a better experience this time around.
So, Election Day has come and gone. Thank god! I can’t believe the wave of emotions I have been feeling. I will talk more about that later. As a survivor of rape, we need to talk about this. Talking about rape is so important!
I was raped four times by my now ex boyfriend’s best friend. I was so scared. I bought into the thoughts that it was my fault. It was never my fault. I said no. I wasn’t strong enough to fight. I’m talking about being paralyzed with fear of my friends in the next room blaming me.
When they found out I had a hard time letting them touch me. But I did let them hug me after I calmed down.
About a year and a half after being raped, I was contacted by someone from San Diego PD about it. They told me a friend of mine had told them what had happened. But they needed to hear it from me and have it be recorded for my statement. That day I found out he had assulted three other women one of which was a minor. That pissed me off. I started on the path of recovery that day.
If you are reading this and have been touched in a way that was unwanted speak up! No more blaming yourself. You are the only one that will stand up for you!
Tell a friend have them go tell the police with you! Call the police and ask for a female officer to meet you somewhere neutral to take your report.
On why we need to talk about rape and sexual assault: “Though our experiences may vary; the bond of terror is singular.”
via The Man Behind the Tree — Discover